By: Dezshanae' Cannon
I have two little sisters and we all have different fathers. My youngest sister dad is who we all look at as our father, he came in my life when I was three years old. My biological father popped in and out my life, sometimes years at a time. My middle sister dad didn’t start claiming her as his child until she was about six years old and was inconsistent as far as being there. I appreciate my step dad for stepping up, he set the example of a real father in my eyes but it was times when I experienced certain feelings.
Although my step dad took care of us he also made me realize how much my biological dad didn’t do. My stepdad made it possible for me to compare what a real dad was in my eyes and at times I would feel disappointed as to why my biological father couldn’t be there properly.
When it came to affection and attention I felt my step dad gave it to my little sister the most because she was biologically his. I wanted that as a kid from my father. I can remember my step dads mother giving my middle sister and I negative energy, she felt my mother wasn’t good enough for my stepdad because she already had children outside of him. She would indulge a lot more into my baby sister simply because she was biologically her grand daughter.
My middle sister felt it the most because her biological father was the most absent growing up and he also had another family in which she would feel left out often. Sometimes I would come home with gifts from my dads side of the family or my baby sister from her side of the family, which left us all feelings of resentment at times when someone didn’t get anything.
As I reflect back on the feelings I endured now that I'm an adult I see things differently. I never wanted to put myself in a position where I had kids by multiple men. I learned a lot of what not to do if I were in a position to date a man with kids and then we decide to have some. I know one thing was for sure if a family member didn’t have gifts for all the siblings just keep them because I’m all about being fair. The psychological effects of a child going through this can be a lot worst for some, I was blessed to have the mental capacity to see the good in it. Then you have some people who can’t seem to let the past go which in return hinders them but that’s another blog within itself.